


The Brotherhood

by Kuroitora_chan



Category: Homestuck
Genre: But the troll kids are still Trolls, Not exactly a Troll/Human society, Super-Hero Au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-09-27 23:22:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17171414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuroitora_chan/pseuds/Kuroitora_chan
Summary: The city of Sburb has a History of being invaded by Aliens.The current ones formed a League, and they think that by subjugating the human race, they'll make the world a better place to live.Obviously, humans couldn't let it slide, so they made a secret Super-Hero society to defeat the invaders.Thing get a little more complicated when you throw the future of the human race to a bunch of pubescent teens, though.Yes.Even the aliens are pubescent teens.





	1. Frenemies

The light of the moon hits the hooded face. Shades in place, hyperalert, broken sword in hand, the Knight of Time awaits on top of a 20-store building for the time of the night he knows the villains strike. He presses the bug in his ear, waiting for instructions.

-Seer, I’m in position.

-Perfect. All you have to do is stay there and make no mistakes.

-Yeah, like that’s an easy task.

-But it absolutely is, dear.

-Maybe for you and your bullshit powers. Try keeping a time-loop and you’ll see what I mean. More dead yous that any mathematician could count. I’d love to see the face of one of those freak greek philosophers and the mental breakdown I'd cause on them. Their shit would be flipping off the handle so hard that they would fall into another handle and keep an infinite flipping cycle. That shit’d be hilarious, yo.

-We both know I would have to side with the philosophers, knight. And I find it most interesting your choice of a handle as a metaphor for distress. Not only that, but the fact you decided to pair said metaphor with an infinite cycle, like your own time loops. Are you, perhaps, putting yourself in the place of the philosophers? And why narrow it to the greeks? 

-Cause they’re the ones I was paying attention to in class. That’s all.

-And why is that so? Could it be that It’s because your assigned pair would be utterly distressed and, more characteristically, angry, if you didn’t?

-Not to burst your bubble but, that work is supposed to be done in trios, not pairs, and truth be told, I just hate being dead weight.

The knight stops talking abruptly. Looking down into the busy streets. The rattling sound of sewer lids, intriguing him.

-I think something is about to happen. I’ll call you back when I'm done with him.

-Don’t be swayed by his gaudyness. He may not be the Marquise, but he is dangerous.

-Chill, Seer. I’ve been dealing with this one particular stubborn Villain for a while now. 

The hooded figure jumps from the skyscraper, plummeting towards the hard concrete in the sea of lights of the night life bursting in the city, but right before he hits the floor, he floats and lands graciously. Red cape floating in his back.

Right when he lands, the lid flies into the air by the power of an explosion. And the next one explodes as well. And the next, and the next. He draws his half sword, ready to play this two-year-long game.

-We all know you have an anger issue, Cancer, but blowing your lid doesn’t have to be literal, ya’ know?

-Really? That’s the quip you wanna start this with? Your game is starting to fester, Knight. It’s depressing.

The Hero turns quickly, half sword pointed right at the villainous presence.

-Says the guy who dresses all in black with draped chains.

-My stylist would cut your head off with a chainsaw if she heard that.

The streets went dark. The explosions affecting the street lights. Now, only the sparkles of the extinguished lamps illuminated the encounter. The sparkles and the glowing red irises in yellow sclera of the other. The villain’s lips quirk up, displaying the ragged teeth of the alien threat. The mass of black, messy and short hair engulfing two short nubby horns, patterned as a candy-corn.

His clothing was patented from the Villain League. Fashionable, yet gaudy and tinged with angst and edgyness. Black leather trench coat, long to his calf, with a hard and upstanding lapel. Adorning the leather, silver chains and in the back of the coat, the Cancer symbol, painted in sparkly gray. Social shoes and pants. A t-shirt with a middle-finger to the world. And as always, the aluminum mask, covering the upper half of his face, around the eyes, the forehead, upper nose and cheekbones.

-Didn’t bring the big guns tonight? I was all eager for a laser-gun fight, man.

The Hero questions, unknowing of the Villain’s plan.

-Save your quips, hero of jack shit.

The Knight starts to get uneasy. Cancer is never so collected. Never so...cold. He’s the heated member of the group. The one that’s always screaming profanities to the top of his lungs and swearing that “NEXT TIME HE’S GONNA GET YOU”. That’s Cancer.

The Villain’s mouth twitches up some more. Fangs showing all of their chomping power.

-You’ll be thrilled! I actually have a surprise for you today.

-I don’t like surprises – the Hero retorts - you know that.

The Knight advances, lunging a piercing attack onto the Villain. And another and another. The Villain just kept dodging, making sure the hero couldn’t lay a finger on him. 

Cancer made a motion for the Knight to stop. Palmed extended hand.

-Indulge me, nooklicker. Feather, feather, rock, feather, feather. Blow it.

He says pointing at the fingers of one hand with the pointer of the other, in order. The Villain thrills in the deadpan stare the Hero gives him, giddy with the excitement of his discovery.

-I’m not blowing you, dude.

The villain fake-pouts, but the smirk gets to his face all the same right after.

-It’s your loss really, but don’t worry.

He blows his own hand, showing the Hero his middle finger. Tasteful. For a guy like Cancer – the Hero admitted. That wasn’t the surprise, though. As his other fingers curled, the Knights members got wanked into opposing directions, leaving him completely exposed and vulnerable. Around his wrists and ankles, thick, etheral but very real chains locked him in place.

-I just figured I'm more into bondage - quips the Villain.

He starts walking in the Hero’s direction. When right in front of him, he says

-And I think I just found my newest rope-bunny

And runs the back of a finger in the Hero’s cheek. The Knight tries to wiggle out of touch, but the constrains are too tight. Cancer’s hand snakes its way into the Hero’s hair, wanking in back. The alien eyes are as open as they can, and the grin has evolved into a victorious and terrifying smile. The breath of onion rings and barbecued ribs sticks to the brain like dry gum at the concrete. His hands, slow and steady, rejoicing the victory over the Hero.

He starts by the aviators. Removing them slowly. The panic showing in the trapped hero, until he stops, his face abandons the wicked grin and he inches closer and closer until the mouths touch.  Both of the Villain’s hands are in the Hero’s chest. The chain spell is broken and the rivals are in the ground. The alien on top of the human.

They part from the kiss. The Villain stays on the ground, rose cheeked and stunned. The hero gags and puts his tongue out.

-WHAT THE FUCK, HEIR?

The Knight shouts. The Villain is still on the ground, but now with a hand above his lips.

-Oh, c’mon. He was already taking your mask off. Get over it. I thought your whole shtick was being cool.

The Heir retorts to the Knight, giggling a little.

-I WANNA SEE YOU BE COOL AFTER LOSING YOUR FIRST KISS TO A DUDE. AND A FUCKING VILLAIN!

Oh. So it was also his first kiss too – thinks the alien.

The Heir is just laughing. The Knight is all the shades of red that exist in the rainbow. Cancer is just...cathartic. That was the exact kind of thing that would happen in a romcom. The moirail gently nudging his partner in the directions of a decent concupiscient pairing. Cancer starts to think about this. It would make perfect sense. Him and Knight would be a great and very balanced kismissitude.

-Are we still going to take him?

-HA! FAT AS YOUR GUARDIAN CHANCE! 

New found will nudges the Villain forward. The holds the thick chain that connects The Heir and The Knight and yanks it down, pulling both flying Heros to the floor and slamming them there with a thud.

-IM NOT STUPID TO STAY HERE AND DEAL WITH BOTH OF YOU SUCKERS.

The Villain hook shoots to a building

-TO DO LOO, BROTHERHOOLIGANS, HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Seriously? Brotherhooligans? I have to start to think about these exits beforehand, or else I'll just burn my credibility into a crisp – thinks the alien.

Back in the ground, both Heroes stand. The Knight approaches The Heir and whispers with a straight, impassive face.

-If you tell Rose about this, I’ll burn your nick cage collection, photograph it, and sell it as art to the highest bidder.

-I won’t tell, but how long do you want to bet she’ll stay in the dark, even if I keep my mouth completely shut about it.

-Fucking Seers, man. I say a month.

-HAHAHA, Dave, you’re so optimistic. I say a week. 

-If I win, you have to feed me for a month. All three meals. 

-When I win, you’ll have to do all my house chores. Cut the grass, take out the trash, clean the windows and my math homework.

-I already do your math homework.

-No. You do your math homework and I copy it. In this scenario, you’ll do my math homework as in, you’ll write it down as well.

-HA. Fine, you lazy bum.

-Bottomless, dick wheeze.

* * *

Your name is  Karkat Vantas , and last night, you had your first kiss. It went exactly as you imagined it would be and you feel happy, if slightly annoyed it didn’t last longer.

* * *

Your name is Dave Strider, and last  night  you lost your first kiss with a dude. It was long,  awkward  and made you have a deep craving for Outback. Also, lots of teeth.

* * *

Your name is John Egbert, and last night you saved your best friend’s secret identity. You and him also made a bet you are sure to win and you are secretly proud you’re the cause he lost his first kiss. Does this make you the ultimate prankster?

* * *

Your name is Rose Lalonde, and you are surrounded by idiots. John already won that bet, because he completely forgot to turn the ear bug off and that means you have something very delicious to study in your brother’s  psyche  today. You can barely wait.


	2. A Normal Day

It’s early and Karkat is already awake in front of his computer screen. The house is silent, mainly because he lives with only one other person: his designated caretaker/ guardian/ brother, Kankri.

-I’m waiting for my fanfic to load – he says, shaking his foot – my pan is gonna fucking explode – his cellphone rings – and now of course it’s time to hit the road – he sighs – which means I'll be uncomfortable all day.

Karkat shuts down the computer and starts to put books into his backpack.

-But that really isn’t such a change. If I’m not feeling weird or super strange, my life would be in utter disarray, cause to flip my shit is my okay, GOOD MORNING! TIME TO START THE DAY!

With a backpack full of what he’ll need for the school day - that he leaves close to his bedroom door - the alien boy directs himself to the bathroom to do the daily routine. However, he is shirtless and absentminded, which made him forget to lock the door. Much to his surprise his brother/ guardian/ caretaker just pushed past the door to use the bathroom himself, scaring him out of his skin by the sudden intrusion and causing him to let out a stream of curses that could lead a drunk sailor to blush. His brother/ caretaker/ guardian, non to happy, starts a lengthy discourse on the righteousness of his actions.

Such is the young troll’s patience, that he locks the older troll in the bathroom, talking by himself. He then throws the key back into the bathroom by the slight space underneath the door and performs a youthroll back into his room.

-Now, should I take the bus or walk instead? - “Why do I have to make these hard decisions?” he thinks – I feel my stomach feeling up with dread - “This is such bullshit!” - When I get nervous my whole face goes red – he checks himself in the mirror inside his wardrobe, and since his face is not any more red than the usual - “fucking mutant blood” - the young troll decides to take his wristwatch, turn the superficial cap, and adopt his human form – do weight the options calmly and be still: a junior on the bus is killer weak, but if I walk when I arrive I'm gonna straight up reek, and my boxers will be bunchy and my pits will leak.

I guess the troll-disguised-as-human is taking the bus then. He grabs the backpack and heads to the door.

-Oh, GOD! I WISH I had the skill, to just be fine and cool and chill.

He goes down rushing to get to the bus. He does, and sits in the middle, closer to the window, alone.

-I don’t wanna be a Hero - “No way” - just wanna stay in the line - “For now. For now, inconspicuous is good” - I’ll never a Rob Deniro, for me Joe Petchi is fine. And so I follow my own rules and I use them as my tools, to stay alive - “or as alive as I can be in this shit of a planet” he thinks while getting out of the bus - I don’t wanna be special, - “I wish I could get rid of what makes me special. Shitty blood type.” - no no, I just wanna survive.

Upon entering school ground, the hunt begins. Now, more than through all the previous path, the troll-as-a-human tries to stay out of sight, but can’t avoid stopping to hear a conversation while dumping all his books inside his locker.

-So ‘radia Megido said Feferi told Jake “I’ll only have sex with you, if you beat me at pool” and then she lost at pool. Deliberately! - said Vriska Serket to Nepeta Leijon.

-That is so meowsome!

-Nep! - scolded Vriska.

-I mean, fishy.

-And then – Aradia, who had come up from nowhere with a Cheshire cat smile plastered in her face - “That girl was always so creepy. Smart. Esthetically pleasing. But fuck if that fucker ain’t a creepy fucker” thought Karkat - tried to tell the rest of the story, only to be cut short.

-I AM TELLING THE STORY, ‘RADIA.

Then, they stop talking and look at Karkat with disgusted faces.

-Oh my god. He’s totally getting off on that.

-Go sit on a screwdriver, Vriska – he says, showing her his middle finger and snickering at the face of disbelief she’s making.

Until he bumps with a jerk. A tall, blond, white and shade’s wearing jerk.

-Don’t touch me shorty – he says giving you a blank expression after pushing you away.

Karkat doesn’t apologize.

-Go fuck yourself.

He says instead. 

But before he’s able to pass by the blond beanpole, Karkat’s face meets the wall.

-Don’t move.

-Fuck you! Get off of me!

-Do you want your face to get acquainted with the pavement?

Karkat stops.

-Good.

He hears scribbles. When the blond is done, he turns Karkat around and tells him, still expressionless.

-If you wash that off, you’re dead.

He turns around, sees Jake English, heads in his direction.

That, was Dave Strider.

-Hey, Jakey E. What’s the deal with Fef?

-Oh, man, I shouldn’t say...But It’s a good thing I rock at pool.

They high five and head the opposite direction. Karkat goes his way.

-I navigate the dangerous hall. Focused on a poster there on the wall. Avoiding any eye contact at all and trying hard to remain unseen. . . The poster’s closer now what does it say?

He stops to read it for a second.

-It’s a poster for the after-school play!

A couple popular kids pass by and he tries to pretend he’s not there. When they cross, he goes back to staring at the poster.

-It’s a signup sheet for getting called gay. And that’s not what I need right now end scene! I hang a left and there’s...

The love interest approaches.

-Terezi, Terezi, Terezi, Terezi Pyrope. Terezi-

-Oh! Hey Karkles!

-...Hey

-I think – she sniffs some - someone wrote boyf, on your backpack.

He takes the backpack to see if it was really the case. It was. And no wonder she noticed. It’s written in candy-red.

-Ok. Yeah. Thanks.

And then he runs off to class.

-Well, that was smooth. That was super pimp. My MacDaddy game couldn’t be more limp. No time to wallow, no, instead, just clear your pan and move ahead. Accept that you’re one of those guys, who won’t pail till he dies!

First batch of classes are as boring as always, but with the stockpile of humiliation hammering inside the poor teenager’s head nothing sticks. They all go to the general waste. Nothing assimilates.

Lunch rings faster than he wanted.

-I don’t wanna be a baller. Just want some skills to count on. But if my globes were any smaller, they would be totally gone. If I continue at this rate, the only thing I’ll ever date is my McBookPro Hard Drive. I don’t wanna be Clooney, no no, I just wanna survive.

Karkat scowls in distaste of the porridge, looking down at the plate. Then, he hears the slurp of a smoothie.

-GAMZEE!

-Hey, Karbro, my buddy, How’s it hanging, lunch is banging. Had my sushi, got my slushy and more! The roll was negimaki and I’m feeling kinda cocky cause the girl at 7’elev gave me a generous pour.

-You’re listening to Bob Marley again, ain’t ya?

-Oh, I’m listening to Marley and the groove is hella gnarly and we’re almost at the end of the song.

Gamzee does tree headbangs.

-Okay, end of the flow, now tell me bro, how was class, you look like ass, wha’s wrong?

The short boy put’s the bag on top of the table.

-Boyf? - asks Gamzee

-What does that even mean?

Gamzee grabs his backpack and positions it beside his, forming the word “boyfriends”. Karkat blushes furiously and looks at Gamzee, who gives him a smile.

-I hate school.

His friend, still with a smile in his face, lifted a peace sign, in indication to Karkat that he wasn’t alone in his hatred. They keep looking at each other in silence until Karkat finds a subject.

-Hey, I wrote TZ a letter telling her how I feel!

-That’s progress, bro!

-AAAAAAnd then I tored it and flushed it. Ha.

Gamzee laughs.

-It’s still progress, bulgelicker.

-It’s all good. I saw on discovery that humanity has stopped evolving.

-Uhum. Good.

-Evolution is survival of the fittest, right? But now, because of technology, they don’t need to be strong to survive. And neither do we, brother. There’s never been a better place or time for someone to be a loser. Let’s own it, brother. Why spend your precious time tryin’ to be cool when we could be-

-Signing up for the play!

-I was gonna say getting sopored in my basement but-

-NO YOU IDIOT! LOOK WHO’S SIGNING UP FOR THE PLAY!

From down the hallway of the cafeteria, Terezi Pyrope swings her cane trying to avoid hitting idiots that could get in her way. She reaches the poster and signs her name. Then, she leaves the cafeteria completely, bidding good bye to the people at the Cool Table.

The Cool Table was composed of John Egbert, resident lovable goofball; his best friend Dave Strider, resident cool guy; Rose Lalonde, head of the debate team and founder of the book club; Jade Harley, lock and loaded cause she’s got money for decades to come. Everybody knows her Grampa died and she inherited everything along her cousin. Vriska Serket, the queen bitch that’s also a regular party thrower and Nepeta Leijon, the table’s pet. Those were the Juniors.

Then, there were the Seniors: Dirk Strider, older brother of Dave, and even more of a stoic piece of garbage. Jake English, the cousin of Jade – they are both known for their over-the-top athleticism. Strong, fast, sharp and some would dare say deadly. They have a reputation for liking to go hunting. Next on the list is Roxy Lalonde, head cheerleader, Rose’s sister, bubbly personality and a serious drinking problem – not that you would know, but it’s said she slept with the entire lacrosse team except for Dirk. Last, but not least, John’s cousin, Jane Crocker. She is the heiress of the Crocker company, which means she’s also loaded, got contacts, and can get away with anything she wants. It’s been rumored that she killed someone and told her employees to get rid of the body. She also bakes mad cakes.

Karkat and Gamzee look Terezi get out of the cafeteria. Karkat’s look goes back to the poster.

-I feel my body moving through the air – he says jumping out of his seat and heading towards the poster.

There are no head turns.

Nobody acknowledges him visibly.

No one bumps onto him.

Mocks him.

Sees him.

-I see my converse walking over there.

He stops right in front of the poster.

-I take a shaky breath and I prepare – and tries to logic the situation – Who cares if people think I’m lame? TZ signed, I’ll do the same! - He grabs the pen and signs his name.

Right then, Dave elbows John and points at Karkat.

-Pshhh. Gaaaaaay.

The whole table laughs, except for Dirk.

But Karkat didn’t see the real expression the other Strider was doing, and since he was always blank faced, he assumed it was just because he was always like so.

The bell rings. Dirk is out of the cafeteria faster than eyes can follow. Roxy follows close behind. Rose is the only one to notice Dave’s change in expression. The blond is puzzled. Why did his brother flee like that? The rest of them goes back to class on their own paces.

Gamzee gets on his feet and caresses Karkat’s cheek some, to make sure he’s not gonna be so enraged that he might do something stupid.

His hands are cold on the warm skin, and the soothing effect is instant and welcome. The alien mouths – thank you – to his friend, and makes way to his next class.

-I’m never gonna be the cool guy. I’m more the one who’s left out – The troll looks at all the humans surrounding him – Of all the characters at school I am not the one who the story’s about. Why can’t someone just help me out and teach me how to thrive. Help me through more than survive.

The classes start, people have them, and close to the end of the period, people could cut the anxiousness in the room with a kitchen knife.

-If this was an apocalypse I would not need any tips on how to stay alive - “been there, done that, only regret the planet I ended up on” - But since a fucking army’s yet to descend and the period is going to end – the bell rings, Karkat grabs his bag and runs out of class – I'll just try my best to pass the test and survive!

* * *

 

Later that day, Karkat and Gamzee were hanging out in central park. Sharing ice cream and talking about crushes and trash talking some people. Dave and John decided to do pretty much the same, but under the disguise of swordplay.

John was practicing with a hammer and Dave with a broadsword. The weapons clashed, but made no noise since they were boffers. It was perfect for both friends because Dave hated having to fight with real weapons, and John could indulge a friendly strife under the disguise of something excruciatingly nerdy.

But they still went all out on it.

The bucktoothed teen defended an upper slash from the blond, making his boffer ricochet and leaving him open to a frontal attack. But instead of hammering him - a move that would take to long because the hammer was huge and long – John kicked Dave right on the abs, sending him flying back-first into a tree.

When Dave fell limp to the floor, the brunette knew he had exagerated.

-DAVE!

John ran, throwing the boffer aside, and kneeling right in front of him.

-I’m sorry! Are you okay? Can you walk?

-I’m fine, john – he said, lifting his head.

Coincidence or not, the fact is: Dave was thrown in the tree right behind the bench Karkat and Gamzee were sharing. Dave heard their voices and proceeded to cover John’s mouth, and hide from sight.

-What the fuck was that? - said Karkat, upon feeling the bench shake.

-Nature’s miracles, bro – answered Gamzee.

The red-blooded troll just sighed.

-Anyway. Where was I? OH YEAH! They should all go burn in hell. If that’s even a thing.

“Huh. So he’s not catholic. I could use that” - thought Dave.

-No, bro. They should go somewhere worse.

-I appreciate the thought, but I don’t want them somewhere worse than hell. They were bulges, but that doesn’t qualify them as human waste enough to go to the place you’re thinking.

-Human waste? What are they? Aliens? - asks John.

-Shhhh – Says and gestures Dave.

Karkat and Gamzee look back. Then they go back to their conversation.

-Anyway. I know for a fact Vriska is bullshitting me with the whole “proving you’re worth it” thing. Even you’re in and what did you do to be in?

-I didn’t leave it.

-I DIDN’T LEAVE IT EITHER! - Karkat screams and rises to his feet.

In that moment, Dave flashsteps with John, changing their location from being behind the bushes to the top of a tree, so they could see better.

Gamzee extends both his arms to Karkat, who deflates like a balloon and sits in his lap, being hugged by the tall teen with unruly hair and hazy eyes.

In a tiny voice, the short boy continues.

-I didn’t mean to leave the group. I just didn’t wanna lead anymore.

-Shhhhhhhhhh. I know. I know.

John is melting into a puddle being in the presence of so much fluffiness. Dave doesn’t see him, looking at them and having other plans. He takes his cellphone from his pocket and takes a picture of the pair.

“You know this is wrong, Dave. You know your feelings are wrong. Let’s save the pitiful children, Dave. Better at school than at some later point in life” told him an image of the oldest Strider sibling. Bro, but also, his Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor – his SQUIP.


	3. Inception

Night and shadow fall again in Manhattan. The stores are still open, but the academic places are already closed. Lots of folk walk about, minding their own business, spending time with their loved ones or coming back tired from work. The city is lit and people don’t sleep.

Neither does evil.

More so when it comes in the form of an angry, alien and lonely individual.

Cancer and Clown are side by side, and they are both very angry and frustrated.

Clown is dressed like a literal circus clown. Polka dot pants, bright shoes and too much makeup. Despite his colorful costume, this clown didn’t mean to turn a frown upside down. No. He meant to make all your worst nightmares come true.

No better day to do such than today.

\- How are we gonna fuck them up this time? - Asked Cancer.

\- Easy, bro. They made us miserable, didn’t they?

Cancer keeps quiet, in acknowledgement.

\- Then we use our combined miracles to turn this whole city into the next chapter of the mothefucking les miserables.

The chain-draped troll took from his coat a gun and looked at the clown clad troll.

\- We split the couples – he starts to say, sad and depressed, growing to angry – I don’t wanna see anybody together at all! FUCK THEM ALL!

The Clown smiles looking at his angry friend.

\- THEN we FUCK’em ALL! 

\- WE’LL TAKE FAMILIES APART. FUCK THE WIGGLERS. FUCK THE QUADRANTED. AND TO MAKE IT EVEN BETTER, WE MAKE THEM FEEL POWERLESS TO HELP THE ONES THEY SAY THEY LOVE! LET’S SEE THESE FAKERS GROW INTO THE SENSE OF HARROWING DOOM! TAKE ONE AND THROW INTO THE SEA. TO THE TOP OF BUILDINGS. TO CAVES. TO LIONS DENS. LET’S MAKE THEM FEAR AND DESPAIR LIKE WE DID!

\- Let’s show these HEATHENS the DARK carnival. Fuckas gonna be beggin’ fo goddam miracles, brah.

\- And THEN WE TAKE OUT THE PAN BRICKS THAT ARE EARTH’S HEROS – intoned Cancer, euphoric with the possibilities.

Both trolls hugged sideways, slinging their arms around each other's necks and started laughing with unabridged glee.

* * *

 

Sometime later, there was chaos.

Children crying and lost and scared among the destruction of several buildings. Panic swept the streets. People ran in terror like dizzy cockroaches, afraid to stay and afraid of going back to an inexistent house.

And yet, chaos was only in people’s heads.

There were no destructed buildings.

There were no running people.

There was not a single building on fire.

But atop a really high place, secluded and comfortable, Cancer slept and dreamt in Clown’s lap about it, cradled. Inside the nightmare Clown created for the town and Its inhabitants, Cancer ensure their vengeance.

He created the chaos while the other inspired the fear. 

Everybody slept, except the Clown who, instead, watched his best friend sleep peacefully along with all of Manhattan. He didn’t mind.

He though it worth to see his best friend sleep peacefully.

* * *

 

Earlier that same day, Karkat woke up early as he usually did, read his fanfic and managed to avoid his guardian, which culminated in taking an uber to school. Not a thing went pitifully so far.

He arrived for first period, avoided Eridan, Nepeta and Vriska, watched his classes without having to deal with bullshit and went eager to lunch. Gamzee was, hopefully, not high enough to forget the promise of taking him to get a new book, which meant they had to pass by the bookshop after classes. That gave Karkat the need to search the cheapest and closest one.

Although finding Gamz was high in his priority list, Karkat didn’t direct himself towards the closest 7’elev first. The taller troll knew where to find him, and so, he directed himself to the cafeteria.

The first noticeable difference was that the cafeteria wall was covered in something. Hundreds of A4 photographs.

Of him. Sitting on Gamzee’s lap. Getting shoosh paaped.

The boy looked around the cafeteria and everybody looked at him with faceless faces. Like grinning miasma. Judging. Laughing. Overwhelming.

He looked at Vriska, Nepeta, Aradia, Feferi, Eridan, Equius, Tavros and finally, at Sollux. They looked at it in horror and disgust.

This was not meant to be seen.

It was meant to be private.

“Get the fuck out of here” he thought. But didn’t move. “Make a joke. Throw a tantrum. Make a scene. DO SOMETHING.” he kept thinking to no avail.

\- Look at the poor fag. Can’t even be enough of a man to own it up.

The voice came from the person Karkat least wanted to listen.

Dave Strider.

\- Oh yeah. There’re no way queers can be real men.

\- You did this SHIT? - Karkat said. 

\- Yeah. I make it a hobby of mine to photograph freaky shit.

\- I hope you can photograph your own face after I've ruined it. - the troll said.

Dave stood from the table in a challenge, despite the protests of mainly Rose and John. Dirk was biting his own tongue not to ask Karkat to change places with him.

The troll dropped his backpack and placed his hand in the wrist watch he carried by the behind of his back, checking if the functions were alright and if, even in direct confrontation, his human disguise would hold. He adjusted it tighter and decided that “It’s gonna have to do.”

Without being able to use claws or fangs, as to not injure Dave mortally, Karkat lost the encounter. But they were both suspended. Dave, for vandalism of school property and Karkat for initiating physical confrontation.

Gamzee learned about the whole debacle from Sollux’s mouth and decided, on his own, not to come to school for as long as Karkat didn’t show up either.

Not to say he was particularly happy with the punishment Dave got, seeing as he did initiate the conflict in the first place.

That day, Gamzee and Karkat didn’t make a plan. They just waited for the night to fall.

* * *

 

Back to the present, Cancer is atop a building, carrying the frozen body of a screaming woman, and attaching it with his freeze ray to it. While she screams, he frowns, focused.

\- Why so serious? - asked Knight to Cancer, flying behind the Villain.

\- Why is your face so stupid? - quipped back the Villain.

\- Wow. Childish much? My face is amazing.

\- There is one good thing in your face, although only when it’s shut. Guess what? It’s currently running and bothering my work in progress, so could you SHUT THE FUCK UP?

\- Dude. Do you know kiss club? You don’t talk about the kiss club.

\- You don’t wanna pick a fight with me today. Go your separate way. This will only heart a lot in her heart.

\- NO! PLEASE! - screamed the restrained woman.

\- Dude, what the fuck are you doing? Let her go. What did she do to you? - asked the hero. The villain swat his hand in the air in front of the woman’s chest and showed to whoever wanted to see a golden chain, linked directly to her heart.

\- Oh. She did nothing to me directly. She’s only being a pal and helping me vent, right?

\- HELP ME KNIGHT! HE’S CRAZY!

\- SHUT UP, YOU PIECE OF HOOFBEAST SHIT! NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU WANT! OR WHAT YOU THINK! OR YOUR NEEDS! YOU’RE UNDER MY HAND NOW! - he says wanking the chain in her chest.

The woman gasps in pain. Tears streaking her face.

Knight advances towards Cancer with his half-sword, aiming at his face with the blunt end of the sword. The alien wraps his hand with the chain from the woman and blocks the blow, throwing the humans hand away from him.

The troll grabs another piece of the chain, predicting the fight escalating further. Knight grabs the half-sword and lunges, trying to slice Cancer from the top. The slice is so fast that when Cancer suspends the chain, Knight cuts it in two.

\- Thank you, idiot, - he lets the chains fall from his hands and they disappear – NOW SHE WON’T REMEMBER SHE WAS EVER ENGAGED! HAHAHAHA.

\- Wait. WHAT?

Cancer than turns a knob in his freeze ray and turns it into a heat ray. He points it at the woman and melts the ice, letting her limp body run down into the dark abyss of the streets. Knight plunges after her.

\- Yeah. Go after her. In the mean while I know the Heir is going to show up soon.

Knight gets the limp body of the woman and tries to wake her up, but fails. He flies to the ground and tries to reach the Seer. In his ears he can only hear static. “I think our communications are cut” he concludes “I need to find Rose. She should have told me Cancer was up. There’s no way she didn’t know.”

The woman moans. “I need to get her somewhere safe” he thinks.

\- Hey. Lady. You with us yet?

She grumbles

\- I’m gonna take you out of this shithole. You cool with that?

She grumbles again.

\- I’m gonna take that as an afirmattive.

* * *

 

After trying to find a place to let the woman, Kight decides the best course of action would be to leave her with health specialists. He didn’t know what Cancer had done to her, but it couldn’t have been good. He leaves the semi-conscious body with doctors and heads to try and find Rose. If their communications are cut, he needs to restore them.

John hadn’t been seen as well, even if Cancer had said he was bound to appear.

How could he know that?

Knight brushes it off. Staying focused on restoring the communications was the priority. Rose hadn’t warned him of anything, which meant she was either incapacitated or dealing with another one of the fuckers all by herself. 

It’s not that she couldn’t do that on her own, but other than Dirk, no one else had access to the hub of communications, and neither of them was answering. Also, she was the one with seer powers. It would make sense to put her in a position where she could help strategize the troops way to victory. The troops being you, John and Jade.

“I’ll check her place first” he decided.

* * *

 

“I’m surrounded by idiots” thought Rose in her Seer robes atop the Empire State Building “troubled idiots.”

She didn’t know how it would happen, but the best-case scenario would certainly unfold here. And so she stood.

From her silladex, Rose took the apparatus used as the communication hub: a floating metal plate board, curved as a half-moon with three sets of keys being one with letters, one with symbols and one with numbers. Notwithstanding, there was also a helmet that covered all of her features and allowed for talking, listening and watching over every single integrant of The Brotherhood.

Such apparatus is the product of a collab between Roxy and Jade. It was originally made in triplicate, but one of the three originals exploded after a system overload caused by Bussy. Ever since, a checkup is made monthly to ensure the safety of such a complex and essential piece of technology.

Which is why Seer gets utterly distressed when the first thing she sees when the apparatus is turned on turns out to be an image of John and Roxy, side by side, chained with no metal she’s ever seen to a bedazzled steel wall. In front of them, completely free and smiling diabolically, stands a very pleased Cancer, sporting a smile so sharp he could cut diamonds.

\- Finally you join us! - he starts – I thought the fucking audience for the show decided to ditch us! I hope you didn’t eat your usual bag of bulges before you tuned in, because this is certain to get very gruesome.

Seer swallows a lump of worry that lodged in her throat.

\- What do you intend on doing to my friends?

\- Ah, Don’t worry your wimpy brain just yet, Seer. There’s still one last participant missing before this party can really start! I don’t usually care about the Alpha team – he says, running a finger by Roxy’s cheek. She tries to bite him and he retracts his hand. His smile never wavering – but this one actually has some use for my ploy.

\- One? You seem to have miscalculated. I don’t see The Witch anywhere.

\- And, again, what is your power?

\- To see the most fortunate futures.

\- And what do you see?

Nothing.

Rose sees nothing in regards to Jade. She can’t see her. At all.

How can this be happening?

Why can’t she see a future for Jade?

The more she thinks about this, the more her chest fills with dread.

And the more Cancer’s smile widens.


	4. Inception (part 2)

Dave looms over the city looking for Rose and doesn’t find her, which leads him to watch the transmission Cancer was broadcasting and immediately freak out. Both his friends are stuck, Rose has her hands tied and Jade is, apparently, not coming. It’s up to him. 

“When did John even get caught? Or Roxy? Why is Roxy in her Super-hero outfit? Was she fighting one of them before? Is there more of them? Cancer seems to be the only one. Could they be hiding?” All these thoughts crossed Kight’s mind, almost allowing him to hear its reeling sound. Panic rising in his throat, he inhaled deeply and held his breath, stopping time. He needed a plan. 

“Jade is not coming. I’m the lone survivor of the Beta team. I could contact Dirk, Jake or Jane. As far as I know, the only person in the Alfa team that got caught was Roxy. Cancer said he’d be waiting for me. On the other hand, our communications have been cut and he could run out of patience, like we all know he’s prone to. If that happens whatever it is that the lunatic has on his mind, John and Roxy are gonna suffer through it. I can’t let that happen. Fuck that. I’m going on my own. Dirk, Jake and Jane have seen the fucking streaming at this point. Everyone has. They’re going to show up eventually.” 

Decided, he flew to the place he knew all to well: Cancer’s Lair. 

* * *

Dirk left the office chair of his studio, stretched his limbs and listened to the snapping sound of his back. “I think I'm going to go grab a soda or something” he thought. 

Opening the door he squinted his eyes – even wearing sunglasses. There were no menacing presences that he could feel, but he didn’t turn his back on the halls for no reason. Dirk smelled for the particular scent of danger and oppression, breathing deeply. Tasted the air for the bitter, salty and venomous taste of sweat. Listened to the quiet. To his own heartbeat. To Dave’s steady breathing in his room. He came out empty. They were the only two people at home. 

The boy had to step away right upon opening the fridge, dodging the clattering of sharp objects on the ground. He grabbed the soda can and opened it carefully, so to not spill its contents on the ground or on himself. 

Before heading to his own bed, Dirk headed to his brother’s room and opened the door slowly, as to not wake him up. He saw him sleeping soundly, brows furrowed and eyes moving rapidly behind his eyelids. Not only that, but he wasn’t covered either, and as angry as he was about his behavior at school, he cared. 

Not that he’d ever tell him, even though he did cover him. 

But he also cared about his own well-being, so when he heard the keys by the lock, he closed the door behind him and immediately regretted. “Fuck. I forgot the soda can open on top of the sink” he remembered. 

“You can go back for it later. It’s past 23. He’s not going to ask you to strife for it” said a helpful but unhuman someone to Dirk in his head. 

“I’m well aware of it, Hal. That’s not the problem.” 

“Is it you left your room open? He didn’t touch anything there. I ran a check-up protocol for such an occasion. He usually doesn’t bother with you or Dave after he’s back from a work week off. You should probably-” 

“Let Dave warned about him. Yes. You can go back to standby now.” 

“Last thing. You have a report to deliver tomorrow that you’ve been postponing for about a week now. I took the liberty of making it for you and printing it in case you decided not to assess it. Obviously, it would be a perfect 10 if you decided to take it, so you might consider doing it yourself to learn something and imbibe it with your own mistakes.” 

“Thank you, Hal. You can go now” thought Dirk, bitterly. 

* * *

 

In her completely closed room, hours after what happened to Dirk, Jade was binge-watching the newest season of Squiddles! in hopes of being able to talk to Rose about it tomorrow at class which meant she was not going to bed any time soon and nobody could haul her ass out of the front of the gigantic 4K, sound surround, smart and curve television. 

Except an excruciating need to pee or an integrant of the Villain League. 

Since neither of those were a problem, the plot engulfed her, distracting the entertained human from the mute vibrating effort that her cellphone was making to get Dirk in contact with the very comfortable, raven haired, glass wearing girl. 

* * *

 

Jake was doing his usual weekly cooper routine, listening to some tunes Dirk hoked him up with – some collaboration between him and Dave – when the people on the street started falling down. 

-What’s up chap? You’re not looking so prime. Are you alright? - He asked, turning the suited-up man that feel face first into the concrete right in front of him to be able to look at his face. 

The man was asleep. And he looked very tired, even so. Looking around, several other people did the same, and they all looked similarly exhausted. Stopping by an old shop that sold old televisions, Jake could listen to the news. 

_“A wave of narcoleptic behavior has been identified. Several people on the streets have been falling asleep suddenly, but apparently only if they are already sleepy and outside. There has been no reported cases of people who fell asleep suddenly inside their homes”_ says the woman in the television,  being   subsequently  mocked by her co-anchor “ _I don’t think anyone would report someone falling asleep suddenly inside a residence after 10 pm, Sandra”_ to which she responds with “ _it’s due to comments like those that I'm certain you have never had to deal with a teenager throughout the entire span that sums up to your life, Cloud.”_  

The teen heaves a breathy laugh at the shenanigans and takes off his phone, intending to call Dirk, already aware of the fact this must have been a villanous act of some intent. Although, the massive repercussions instead of the localized ones reflect this must have been a conjoined effort. “Damn you, Marquise! This must have been your doing. Putting people to sleep out of the blue!” he theorized. 

* * *

 

The phone of the older strider rang. Panicked about waking up his little brother – or worse, his older one – he grabbed it and instead of answering, dismissed the call, deciding to text instead.

**TimaeusTestified [TT]** **began pestering** **GolgothasTerror [GT]** **:**  

** TT:  ** Dude. Bro. 

** TT:  ** What the fuck. 

** TT:  ** You know not to call me after 22. 

** GT: **  I was hoping you would be available to an adventure! 

** GT:  ** The good-looking lady from channel 15 said there’s a narcolepsy wave hitting people. 

** GT:  ** I bet it’s that nasty Marquise acting up again! 

** TT:   ** No. 

** TT:   ** Marquise likes the spotlight. 

**TT:**  Whoever is acting up is not particularly fond of it in itself. Or else they would have shown up to back their claim already. 

** TT: **  This must be a joined effort though. 

** TT:  **  I suspect about Bad Horse or Bussy. 

** TT:   ** I can contact Roxy and ask her to run her finder. If this was Bad Horse, he’s gonna have sloppy code. If it was Bussy, something will explode and we’ll find out. 

** GT:  ** Alright chap. What do I do in the meantime? 

** TT:   ** Get changed and contact your cousin as well as Jane. Tell Jade to run the apparatus and contact Rose. She’ll know where they are and what not to do. I’ll wake Dave up. 

** GT:  ** Wait. Your brother is asleep? 

** TT:   ** Yes. Why do you ask? 

** GT:  ** I tried to wake some people up on the street when they fell. It was useless. I’m not sure the same applies, but if Dave is asleep, there is a possibility he won’t wake up until this is solved. 

**TimaeusTestified [TT]** **stopped pestering** **GolgothasTerror [GT]** **:**  

** GT:  ** Dirk? 

Crawling desperately to the side of his little brother, Dirk shook him, said his name, but nothing worked. Dave was usually a light sleeper. He knew this first hand. No Strider could have deep sleep with the guardian they had and that made him even more worried, because that meant he was susceptible to attacks. 

Dave’s face scrunched up like an old raisin and the side of his eyes started prickling tears. His breathing was labored and he was facing up, each arm stagnant by his side, like he was imprisoned. “He’s dreaming. And he’s fighting” thought Dirk. 

“It’s Clown” said Hal in Dirks mind. 

“That is ridiculous. He can’t do mass use of his powers.” 

“You yourself thought that this might be a collaboration. I stand behind that hypothesis. Although, Clown is a wild card. He rarely entered any of the plans of the Villain League. He could have had such power all along and we merely have never had to deal with them.” 

“If he had such power all along why wouldn’t he use it? Half of Manhattan and a little bit of Brooklyn are already sleeping because of his crazy mumbo jumbo.” 

“There’s a 60% chance he didn’t have a good enough reason to do so until now. 20% he developed it with the passing of time and training. 15% he was asked not to. And 5% that he was saving it for later. 

This is also a massive endeavor. There’s an 80% chance that he’ll be drained after its effects wear off.” 

“You’re certain its Clown?” 

“It’s 70/30 with the Marquise. Pretty sure.” 

“Shit. Ha. John is going to be thrilled. He loves clowns” thought Dirk sarcastically. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is a drabble, essencially. I might post more stuff to this is people like it, but my main focus is my Corpse Groom fic. I have a couple of backstories set for this, though, so i might make it into a thing. Maybe.
> 
> Tell me if you think I should make this into a thing.
> 
> I love reading comments, so if you wanna make this author happy, comment. Please.


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